Without A Net:
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Bad To Verse |
Lyrics for our next CD . . . Bad To VerseI feel a strange compulsion to write another song, To put my sad life into verse and make you sing along! It has a sort of rhythm, like the phase of the moon: Werewolves bite their neighbours; werepoets write a tune. That's my life. It's not what Mother planned: I was supposed to study dentistry so I'd be in demand. Instead I'm scribbling sonnets and singing with the band, But that's my life! I might be on the telephone with a long lost childhood friend When my condition kicks in and the conversation ends. My wife says I am always late and blames my sense of time For, once trapped in pentameter, I have no sense of time. That's my life. It's not what Mother planned: I was supposed to study dentistry so I'd be in demand. Instead I'm scribbling sonnets and singing with the band, But that's my life! I can't blame my upbringing, for my parents made it clear My social obligation was to choose a good career. I could have been a doctor, a lawyer or a nurse. Instead I'm on a downward spiral gone from bad to verse! That's my life. It's not what Mother planned: I was supposed to study dentistry so I'd be in demand. Instead I'm scribbling sonnets and singing with the band, But that's my life! There is no drug that I can take that will effect a cure But alcohol, I have been told, might help your ears endure. My thanks for your attention, your presence is the closest I devise as therapy to deal with my neurosis! That's my life. It's not what Mother planned: I was supposed to study dentistry so I'd be in demand. Instead I'm scribbling sonnets and singing with the band, But that's my life, yes, that's my life! Bread and CircusesWhen Pompey and Marcus Crassus tried to pacify the masses They discovered it was not enough to simply hand out bread, For with its hunger sated, unless it was recreated, The idle proletariat got ideas in its head. "What can we do," the ruling classes cried, "To keep the masses pacified, And simply too content our power to overthrow?" Then Caesar gave a mirthful snort and said, "We'll have spectator sports! Take them to the stadium and give the marks a show." "If we give them bread and circuses the public will sit back and leave us be. If you want to disconnect their brains you have to keep them entertained; Too bad no one's invented the TV! Does it matter if the whole production squanders public funds As long as everybody's at the show? While the spectators all scream we can skim away the cream And no one has to know!" "We can spend a bag of money on some ribbons smoke and mirrors, Have a fancy ceremony with a little blood and sex. The populace will watch in expectation and in fear That if they look away they'll miss whatever happens next! We'll give the show a patriotic gloss, lie about how much it cost And if anyone complains we'll tell the crowd they're fools. It should be enough distraction to delay collective action And we're bound to get away with it 'cause we make all the rules!" "If we give them bread and circuses the public will sit back and leave us be. If you want to disconnect their brains you have to keep them entertained; Too bad no one's invented the TV! Does it matter if the whole production squanders public funds As long as everybody's at the show? While the spectators all scream we can skim away the cream And no one has to know!" Now millennia have passed us since Pompey and Marcus Crassus, But the tried and true still works for the head that wears the crown. The names may all have changed but the games remain the same, And people stop to watch when the circus comes to town! "What can we do," the Liberal caucus cried, "To keep the public satisfied, And simply too distracted our mismanagement to see?" Then Gordon said, "We've closed the schools, but you guys need to learn the rules, So here's a little lesson I picked up from history!" "If we give them the Olympics the public will sit back and leave us be. If they can't afford a ticket to get them past the wicket At least they get to watch it on TV! Does it matter if the whole production squanders public funds As long as everybody's at the show? While the spectators all scream we can skim away the cream And no one has to know!" CashHow can you escape those hand me downs One wash away from the trash? How can you upgrade into an evening gown To go with your panache? In the real world magic words are seldom found; What you say must have a more substantial sound. What's the cosmic force that makes the world go round? Cash! Cash! Cash! How can an ambitious featherweight Make a tremendous splash? What will help a parvenu percolate Into the correct demi tasse? What's more popular than sex or chocolate? What's the proper oil with which to lubricate The machine that makes the planet earth rotate? Cash! Cash! Cash! Don't believe the church bell chimers who say that it's evil stuff For a social climber there can never be enough! It doesn't matter what tales you've been told They're liberal balderdash Everything that glitters may not be gold, But it's good to have some in your stash. That way, even if you're fat or old You can end up married to a centerfold! What's the thing that makes the universe unfold? Cash! Cash! Cash! Constant RefrainSome folks like their coffee strong enough to melt the spoon, Others pour in cream 'til it's the colour of the moon. Some drink theirs in roadside cafes catering to trucks, Where it's black as unchanged motor oil and sixty percent muck. Many have the buzz removed because they value slumber; Yuppies swarm the bistros swilling lattes beyond number, But if that isn't fair trade coffee you are drinking I have to ask you just what the Starbucks you are thinking! "We have to cut taxes so we can compete," Is the constant refrain of the corporate elite. "With all of the goods being made overseas We can't stay here without subsidies!" When you shop the big box store to save a couple quid, Does it occur to you that stuff was made by sweat shop kids? It used to be made hereabouts by your friends and neighbours Until the work was outsourced so the boss could save on labour. Now it's made in China where job standards are relaxed And the guy next door is unemployed with no income to tax, So you are paying more because your neighbour's out of luck And because you went to Wal Mart to save a couple bucks! "We have to cut taxes so we can compete," Is the constant refrain of the corporate elite. "With all of the goods being made overseas We can't stay here without subsidies!" As long as we're content with bread and tickets to the circus The boss will undervalue, underpay and overwork us And, if some fellows organize to see their better paid, He'll move the workplace far away and tell us it's fair trade. He'll take the profits all have earned and keep them for himself And send us foreign goods to fill up Wal Mart's shelves, Where you think you got a bargain but let me tell you, brother, That working men get screwed when they exploit each other! "We have to cut taxes so we can compete," Is the constant refrain of the corporate elite. "With all of the goods being made overseas We can't stay here without subsidies!" If we're content to work the most yet still get paid the least Is it fair to blame the bosses when they think of us as yeast? Yeast are simple organisms; given food and heat They'll eat, excrete and reproduce and then again they'll eat. This process will continue as the population booms, Until the yeast discover they haven't enough room For themselves and their byproducts, and set a precedent As a lifeform that has drowned it ins own excrement! "We have to cut taxes so we can compete," Is the constant refrain of the corporate elite. "With all of the goods being made overseas We can't stay here without subsidies!" The Earth is glowing in the void, a planet set on fire As we consume the biosphere to light our funeral pyre. That's all right with the bosses as long as profits rise, But who will buy their products once the customers all die? When the final blade of grass has dried and died of thirst Will the bosses understand that they carried the curse, Or will they haunt the boardrooms as the life support fails, Complaining who to blame for their declining sales? "We have to cut taxes so we can compete," Is the constant refrain of the corporate elite. "With all of the goods being made overseas We can't stay here without subsidies!" We've got to consume less, tough luck for the boss, But unrestrained profit has too high a cost. Like swine at the trough he thinks only to feed, But we'll all get to pay the price for his greed. Ear WormsTo the tune of Tennessee Waltz I woke up this morning with a song in my head That's remained to obsess me all day. Every fifteen fucking minutes I catch myself singing, And nothing can drive it away! I keep remembering the Tennessee Waltz It comes back in manners absurd. I am tapping, I am drumming, but mostly I'm humming 'Cause I can't remember the words! So I played some songs I usually count on To clear other tunes from my mind: Auld Lang Syne, Happy Birthday, even Big Rock Candy Mountain, But it keeps coming back every time. I keep remembering the Tennessee Waltz It comes back in manners absurd. I am tapping, I am drumming, but mostly I'm humming 'Cause I can't remember the words! I've tried drinking 'til I'm senseless. I've exhausted my savings On Glenfyddich old single malt, But I just wake up hung over, with a throb in my head To the beat of the Tennessee Waltz! I keep remembering the Tennessee Waltz It comes back in manners absurd. I am tapping, I am drumming, but mostly I'm humming 'Cause I can't remember the words! I am tapping, I am drumming, but mostly I'm humming 'Cause I can't remember the words! God Helps ThoseSee the children in the classroom, Sitting quietly row by row, While the teachers try to impart All the things kids need to know. See them learn to add and subtract; See them learn to read and write. See them while their heads are packed And taught to get their answers right. See them in the libraries With the books upon the shelves, All designed to demonstrate That God helps those who help themselves. See the children in Sunday School, Listening with open minds While their elders preach God's word And proselytize His grand design. See them learn to kneel and pray for All the leaders of the land To strictly keep the righteous way For judgement day is near at hand. See them as those leaders tell them God loves those who buy and sell. They get their rewards on Earth for God helps those who help themselves. See the young men in the army Learning how to march and fight, While the President considers When to bark and where to bite. See the soldiers in the front line, Digging foxholes in the soil, While the drivers in Des Moines Complain about the price of oil. See the lines of body bags; Hear the tolling steeple bells. Someone has to pay the price when God helps those who help themselves. See the planet in the cosmos, Spinning madly through the night, While the children are assured that They are equal in God's sight, See the office in the tower, Gleaming glass and shining steel, Where the predators in power Gourmandize the commonweal. See the homeless in the streets And debtors in the prison cells; See the addict in the alley, Waiting for the one who sells. See the grifter and the hayseed Contemplating peas and shells; See the worker buying dreams From the lotto wishing well; See the children in the sweatshops, Surrogates for Santa's elves; See the motel 'cross the tracks Where all is known but no one tells. Ask yourself just Who created All these different kinds of Hell? It's Devil take the hindmost, boys, When God helps those who help themselves! Don't stop to read the signpost then, Don't kneel in prayer or say "Amen!" It's Devil take the hindmost when God helps those who help themselves, When God helps those who help themselves! Love Among The RuinsThere are people in the crowd tonight who just might be offended So, if you hear yourself described, I swear it's not intended! Listen to this lesson, free of textbook and tuition, And I will teach you what it's like to live with a musician. To begin with, they never finish anything chore they start Because open stage is Sunday and they have to learn their part; Since they never play it well enough to satisfy their wishes The sink is always overflowing with filthy, greasy dishes! Because life is short but art is long, And hygiene doesn't matter when you have to learn a song. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless! Music is their universe, so they can't see why you're miffed When they book gigs on your birthday and forget to buy a gift! They complain about their strings, their resin or their reeds, Then spend the grocery money on that tuner that they need! Because life is short but art is long, And hunger doesn't matter when you have to play a song. What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon? A bassoon burns longer! They never feed the pets because they're practicing so hard, So the cat attacks the milkman when he tries to cross the yard! Music fills their ears so they can't hear a thing you say, But tell that to the SWAT team sent by the SPCA! Because life is short but art is long, And pets can feed themselves when you have to hear a song. How do you define perfect pitch? The accordion lands in dumpster right on top of the banjo! They're always at a jam, a gig, or busking in the street. If love is an hamburger, then where's the fucking meat? It's been so long since you got laid your plumbing's turned to rust; They're writing you a love song when all you want is lust! Because life is short but art is long, And sex can wait 'til later when you have to write a song. What time does the band start playing? About half a beat behind the drummer! So what's the sane response to this? What's the perfect plan? Forget it! I'm not certain that a jury'd understand! You can just give up and do the housework all alone, Or go down to the pawnshop for a guitar of your own! Because life is short but art is long, And both are more rewarding when you simply sing along. Yes, life is short but art is long, And both are more rewarding when you simply sing along. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! PharmacologyWhen life becomes a burden and it seems there is no hope Develop a neurosis and it will help you cope When all the contradictions cannot be explained If you're not neurotic you could go insane! If you're terminally anxious do not panic If you're regressive don't be immature If you're bipolar there is no need to be manic For there simply is no problem pharmacology can't cure! If you're agoraphobic you don't have to stay inside And even though you're paranoid there is no need to hide If the devil's in the details there's no need to be depressed With the right medication you can still be self-possessed! Why face up to life's sordid situations? So what if you are always premature? We can regulate ejaculation, For there simply is no problem pharmacology can't cure! If you fly through the air with the greatest of ease It's not aeronautics, it's mental disease. Yes, if you're addicted to dangerous thrills We can bring you to earth with a pill! There are those who claim that we could treat with diet But we have drugs to please the epicure If self-control was easy more would try it And there simply is no problem pharmacology can't cure! Don't talk about your problems. They're too personal to share. Armageddon's coming, but there's no need to despair. When it's time to meet your Maker you are sure to be alone, And you handle bad news better when you're stoned. Reality is vastly overrated So if you feel a little insecure It's best to face mortality sedated For there simply is no problem pharmacology can't cure! For there simply is no problem, Not a single problem, There simply is no problem pharmacology can't cure! Preheat Oven To 350 DegreesSome wonder how the corporate system started. When did God create the middle man? Or was it Satan's bright idea? Torah's not precisely clear How all this fits into the Master Plan! When did greed become a cardinal virtue, And gluttony an economic scheme? However did unbridled lust seduce and rape the public trust? What happened to our democratic dreams? In olden times a man could be the master of his fate, But all that changed the day the piggies learned to legislate! Now everywhere you go there's a porker in charge, Root, root, rooting for the master race! The Plan may be divine, but it's been redefined To benefit the swine and keep you in your place! The pigs have changed the rules by trickery and stealth To guarantee a future where they hog all the wealth! So, while you proles toil in the mire With toxin levels rising higher, They'll organize a porcine buyer for your declining health, Then snuffle out the truffles and eat them all themselves! Big fish eat the little fish and bigger fish eat those, Then munch, munch, munch the food chain does the rest! What does this progression mean? It simply means the class porcine Dines well, be the times fat or lean: evolution at it's best! The pigs have changed the rules by trickery and stealth To guarantee a future where they hog all the wealth! So, while you proles toil in the mire With toxin levels rising higher, They'll organize a porcine buyer for your declining health, Then snuffle out the truffles and eat them all themselves! Like Robin Hood, the piggies plan to redistribute wealth. They sell, sell, sell consumer goods on supermarket shelves. Faithful to the Porcine Creed they mask convenience as need; The things we buy to feed their greed we used to make ourselves! The pigs have changed the rules by trickery and stealth To guarantee a future where they hog all the wealth! So, while you proles toil in the mire With toxin levels rising higher, They'll organize a porcine buyer for your declining health, Then snuffle out the truffles and eat them all themselves! The piggies rule the world with their prospectuses and brochures While we who bring the bacon home chant, "Yes, sir! Yes, sir! No, sir!" But we can restrain the swine: Invite the porkers home to dine On applesauce and Chianti wine! It's time that pork was kosher! Santa ColaTime for another dismal Christmas: The feast day for abysmal business. Trapped by endless hackneyed carols, We get distressed and feral, Wishing we could hide in a cave for the Day! Yet nothing short of hibernation Will help avoid the celebration. Now is the sweet buy and buy! Capital is deified! Santa Cola's coming, and we are his prey! So you'd better not stint. It time that you gave, Time to surrender those pennies you saved: Santa Cola's coming to town! His markets are huge, but still must expand. Don't be concerned. It's part of the plan: Santa Cola's grinding you down! It's simple economics. The bubble has to grow Until the whole world is consumed. That's all you need to know! You'd better not ask. You'd better just spend. Blow it all now before the world ends! Santa Cola's coming to town! The fruit of our greed is nature's disease: That's why we pile it under dead trees! Santa Cola's grinding you down! It's voodoo economics! The bubble has to burst, So buy your friends survival gear And prepare for the worst! They've taken your life and extracted the gold. It's too late to talk. Just do as you're told. Santa Cola's coming! Santa Cola's coming! Santa Cola's grinding you down! Simple ThingsSimple things can take you by surprise, Simple truths that open up your eyes, To shine a light that drives away the lies And points you to a path that leads ahead. When the sun comes up each morning it's a miracle to me How gulls float in and out of the mist upon the sea. Then you wake beside me and stretch contentedly; It's simple things that keep a guy in bed. Simple things can take your breath away: The wild rose, with its delicate bouquet; The promise of the spring that it conveys The moment the first scent of it arrives. I watch you in the garden as you lean upon your hoe, Your vegetables around you in their careful ordered rows, Content that it's not wishing but it's work that makes it so. It's simple things that validate our lives. The longer we're together the stronger we're entwined; I begin your sentences and you finish mine. If one of us is happy the other one will smile: It's simple things that make our lives worthwhile. Simple things can take you home again: Simple pleasures shared with trusted friends, Companions who will always be there when You need someone to watch the road behind. It constantly amazes me that you are always there When no one else is watching and I need someone to care. To live this life alone would be more than I could bear; It's simple things that satisfy our minds. The longer we're together the stronger we're entwined; I begin your sentences and you finish mine. If one of us is happy the other one will smile: It's simple things that make our lives worthwhile; It's simple things that make our lives worthwhile. Solstice WassailNow the days are growing longer And the sun's rays warm us stronger; Here is nature's rumourmonger: Now is come the Solstice! Long past seem the harvest days, Longer still the summer rays. Their return is why we praise The coming of the Solstice! Springtime is the time for sowing, Summer for the crop a growing, Autumn for the harvest stowing: Now is come the Solstice! With the autumn's fallen leaves Mother Nature weeps and grieves, Bit mourning ends when she conceives The morning of the Solstice! Though the winter skies be scudding, Soon will come the spring thaw flooding, And the crocus will be budding: Now is come the Solstice! Defy the winter's surly mood For the harvest yield was good. We have the best of drink and food To celebrate the Solstice! This day every home's a castle Where we own no lord nor vassal. Welcome, all, to share our wassail: Now is come the Solstice! Though the winter night be long, By the hearthfire burning strong We raise our voices joined in song To welcome in the Solstice! Though the winter night be long, By the hearthfire burning strong Raise your voices joined in song To welcome in the Solstice! Wise PreyI hear just what you're saying. I know just what you're doing. I see the game you're playing And you look like a shoo-in. I have a sneaking little hunch You sort of look at me as lunch. Wise prey won't struggle. Wise prey says, "What will be, will be." Wise prey just gets it over with. Wise prey know the look I see When I see you looking at me. Behind the sparkling eyes, Behind that artless laughter There lurks a big surprise. I see just what you're after. Yes, I am certain I am right And you are here for me tonight. Wise prey won't struggle. Wise prey says, "What will be, will be." Wise prey just gets it over with. Wise prey know the look I see When I see you looking at me. Think of me as an orphaned lamb, Lost and lonely in the dark, Or as blood floating on the water. Here, shark! Shark! Shark? What do you wear that mask for? The truth works if you let it, But be careful what you ask for Because you just might get it. Now, since we're talking of what's true, I came here tonight for you. Wise prey won't struggle. Wise prey says, "What will be, will be." Wise prey just gets it over with. Wise prey know the look you see When you look at me The worm gives the fish that look Before the fish takes the hook. Wolf At Your HeelsOn the fifth day of March, nineteen forty-three, We hoisted our anchor and put out to sea. With a hold full of beef from the Argentine plain We headed for Bristol again. We've a fair turn of speed, so we usually run On the faith that our engines outdistance their guns, But a skeptical commodore had the last word And ordered us into his herd! Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. In a following sea have a man at the wheel And keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! When first I shipped out I would have been pleased With anything bearing me over the seas. A berth that was steady with no wait ashore, Give me that and I'd ask for no more. But times, they were hard and good berths were rare. It was short hauls to strange ports, then find a ship there, Or stranded ashore on my dwindling pay, Desperate to just get away. Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. You never know what the moon might reveal, So keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! Then one day I signed on a regular run: Aboard the Cartago my worries were done. With steady employment and a wage near my worth I knew I had found the right berth. There was cargo awaiting beside every quay, So we loaded her up and we put back to sea, Headed for ports where they'd offload our meat And the ladies were willing and sweet! Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. Never forget what the deep can conceal And keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! When you sail on one ship half a lifetime you find You're more home aboard than where you left behind. Your mates are the family you hunger for Should you happen to wander ashore. But what can you do when the landsmen make war And say that you can't cross the sea anymore? Where do you go when your home is afloat, And the wolf has an undersea boat? Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. There's more than a cargo that rides on this keel, So keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. In this kind of trial there is no appeal, So keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! At nightfall the Granville was leading the line But she was torpedoed, or ran on a mine. An escort rushed by, but all she could do Was lower a float for the crew. We make seventeen knots when we're steaming alone; In thirty-two hours we'd be safely home, But a convoy must move with the slowest in mind, So slowly we follow the line! Now it's slow and steady we follow the line, Slow as the slowest that wallows behind. Forget the fatigue and the fear that you feel, And keep a sharp watch for the wolf at your heels! Never forget! Never forget! You can never forget there's a wolf at your heels! |
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